Alec Baldwin Texted Wife Hilaria That He 'Wanted to Kill Himself' the Day AfterRustShooting

Mar. 15, 2025

Alec Baldwin attends his trial for involuntary manslaughter.Photo:RAMSAY DE GIVE/POOL/AFP via Getty Images

RAMSAY DE GIVE/POOL/AFP via Getty Images

Alec Baldwinhad “survivor’s guilt,” according to wifeHilaria, following thefatal shootingofRustcinematographerHalyna Hutchins.

On episode 2 of the married couple’s TLC reality showThe Baldwins, Hilaria, 41, recalled receiving alarming messages from her husband the day after the October 2021 incident. Alec, 66, was rehearsing for the Western film in New Mexico whena prop gun he was holding accidentally fired, killing Hutchins and injuring directorJoel Souza. The actor-producer maintained that he did not pull the trigger and could not have known the gun contained live ammunition instead of dummy rounds.

“I found these text messages the other day between us, you know, the day after,” recalls Hilaria on camera. “And [Alec] said he wanted to kill himself.”

In a confessional, Hilaria adds that Alec “has survivor’s guilt” following the fatal incident. “You’re involved in this thing that nobody could even possibly imagine. And so he goes back to that day, he wishes it were him. He would change places [with Hutchins] in a second.”

The Baldwins.Rou Shoots

Rou Shoots

The Baldwins, which premiered on TLC on Feb. 23, follows Alec, Hilaria andtheir seven childrenin New York City. (Alec also shares daughterIrelandwith ex-wifeKim Basinger.) The reality series includes recollections from the couple about how the incident and Alec’s ensuinginvoluntary manslaughter trial—dismissedlast July — affected the family.

“He’ll never be the same,” says Hilaria in episode 2. “This has affected his health and his mental health tremendously the past few years. All of a sudden, he has started having heart problems. He’s been hospitalized multiple times.”

The yoga instructor also recalls a time Alec “fainted,” after which she was “shaking him. It’s hard sometimes. But, you know, hopefully we’re in the hardest but the tail end of it.”

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After the dismissal of Alec’s case — and the film’s armorer, Hannah Gutierrez-Reed, beingconvicted of involuntary manslaughter last Marchfor her role in Hutchins’ death — the30 RockEmmy winnerfiled a lawsuitagainst its prosecutors, investigators and others, accusing them of “malicious abuse of process, intentional spoliation of evidence, defamation, and violation of the New Mexico Civil Rights Act.” His suit claims the defendants “sought at every turn to scapegoat Baldwin for the acts and omissions of others, regardless of the evidence or the law.”

Alec Baldwin and his wife Hilaria embrace during his trial.RAMSAY DE GIVE/POOL/AFP via Getty

RAMSAY DE GIVE/POOL/AFP via Getty

In a recent cover storyinterview with PEOPLE, Alec reflected on coming to terms with the accident: “I had to stuff [feelings] down because I had seven kids. I couldn’t really go in the other room and cry or whatever.” Now, he added, “the emotion is really kind of washing up on me.”

The Baldwinsairs Sundays at 10 p.m. ET on TLC. Episodes are available to stream on Max.

source: people.com