Big Family, Big CityStar Recalls Feeling 'Brainwashed' by Conservative Church but Still Has Strict Dating Rules Now: 'No Kissing'

Mar. 15, 2025

From left: Marc and Amber de la Mottes on ‘Big Family, Big City’.Photo:TLC

Big Family Big City on TLC

TLC

Thede la Motteshave moved on from their conservative church — but some of their traditional values remain.

Her husband Marc recalled the church having “a lot of rules," and Amber pointed out: “Women were supposed to be quiet and subservient in every way.”

The rules included women wearing skirts below their knees and no rock music. Their son Elijah even noted, “There was nothing with a beat. Beats were evil…I didn’t even know about The Beatles until like recently.”

‘Big Family, Big City’ on TLC.TLC

Big Family Big City on TLC

Amber admitted she felt like they were “brainwashed members of a cult,” adding, “It took a long time for us to figure that out.”

“It’s kind of like the frog in the kettle,” Marc explained. “You know, you don’t realize the water is getting hot until you’re boiling.”

With their move to New York, the family was “trying to find their own way” and start fresh, having “new experiences within reason.” However, they hadn’t forgotten traditional values when it comes to dating.

Pearl and family walking back home from busking in Harlem on ‘Big Family, Big City’.TLC

Big Family Big City on TLC

After the couple’s oldest daughter Pearl nervously revealed that she was in a relationship with her first boyfriend Adam — who she had yet to kiss — to her parents, Amber explained, “We don’t approve of just dating just for the sake of dating because it’s fun. We believe in dating with a goal in mind, and that goal is marriage.”

The pair later laid out their rules for dating, which Marc called “pretty simple.” The couple then listed off the rules including: “Don’t text too much. No spending a lot of time together alone. No kissing.”

“We’re trying to help them not have sex before they get married,” Amber noted.

Mark admitted in a confessional, “There’s no such thing as casual dating to us. It’s serious. Either you’re interested in marriage or you’re not dating.”

The pair wasted no time asking about Adam’s intentions with their daughter during their first meeting. “We don’t believe in just dating just for the fun of it, you know? We believe in dating for the idea of potentially marriage,” Amber said. “Is that what you believe, too?”

“Yes. Definitely,” he responded. “My parents have often told my siblings the same thing. Dating was for the purpose of marriage and sort of as God intended it.”

“He answers all of the questions correctly,” Amber chimed in. “Hoping he’s not too good to be true.”

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Big Family, Big Cityaired on TLC and can be streamed on discovery+.

source: people.com