Chelsea Handler attends the Critics Choice Awards in Santa Monica, Calif., in 2025.Photo:Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty
Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty
Chelsea Handlerworried she didn’t have empathy — and specifically, the ability to put herself in someone else’s shoes — which led her to ask her therapist if she was anarcissist.
“I had sympathy and I had generosity, but they’re not the same thing,” Handler — who’s promoting her new book,I’ll Have What She’s Having— explained during a Feb. 18 appearance onThe Jamie Kern Lima Show, saying she learned to develop empathy in therapy.
“Apparently I didn’t have empathy for a long time,” said Handler, who turns50 on Feb. 25. WhenLimaasked the comic, “Can you learn empathy?” she replied with a resounding, “Yes, you can. You can totally learn empathy. That’s the greatest update ever.”
Chelsea Handler appears on the Feb. 18 episode of “The Jamie Kern Lima Show.".Courtesy of The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Courtesy of The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Handler continued: “I wasn’t thinking about what it would be like to be a different person. I would only go, ‘Oh, that person’s in trouble. Let me help them.’ I never thought, ‘What is it like tobethem? What is it like to be that person?’ “
“So, the good news is you can gain empathy because it’s just like turning a light on that’s not on,” Handler explained, adding that she also confronted her “biggest fear” when she entered therapy.
“The biggest fear I had about entering into therapy when I did was that I was a narcissist. I asked my therapist — this guy,Dan Siegel, who’s incredible and just changed my life forever — I said, ‘Am I a narcissist? Like, I need you to really be honest with me.’ ”
“He was like, ‘Typically narcissists aren’t looking for feedback,’” she said, laughing.
“I was like, ‘Oh yeah! Hallelujah!’” Handler said. “I was so paranoid that I was this bad person, and I was never a bad person. I have been angry, and I’ve been confused, and I’ve been hurt, but I’ve not ever been a bad person.”
Chelsea Handler attends the Vanity Fair Oscar Party in 2024.Amy Sussman/Getty
Amy Sussman/Getty
Handler shared that since therapy, “Thinking about walking in another person’s shoes is now something that happens to me daily, regularly, all day long. I think, ‘Oh, that person, what they must be going through,’ or ‘Is that person okay?’ ”
“I think so many people can get confused in thinking that we’re bad because we have negative thoughts or we have human thoughts. Your humanity is going to create dark thoughts. We all have a shadow self. We have all have a self that’s not our best self, that is always like trying to get us to lower our vibe — but we’re innately good… That was a relief to find out all of that information ‘cause I want to be good.”
“I want to be a good person and I want to help other people be good women.”
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source: people.com