Love is Blind. (L to R) Zack Goytowski, Bliss Poureetezadi at Sunset Bronson Studios for the Love is Blind season 4 reunion.Photo: Adam Rose/Netflix
Bliss Poureetezadi Goytowskiis opening up about her journey with postpartum depression.
“I kind of have a history of depression. And when I was pregnant with Galileo, we talked a lot about what are the signs of postpartum depression, what’s our plan, how can we prevent me from getting it. What are we going to do if I do get it? I feel like we tried to come prepared," she began.
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Poureetezadi Goytowksi went on to say that she didn’t realize it was creeping in, speaking with her husband Goytowski about how “things were off” and she wasn’t initially ready to face what was happening.
“The nighttime, I remember, I was just like I have to survive the night. I had such bad night scaries,” she remembered. “I had to tell myself the morning will come and you just have to get through the night.”
Poureetezadi Goytowski continued, saying that for her, depression became tied to feelings of shame and guilt.
“I was really depressed and I had some shame a little bit around it because, again, I’d been waiting for this my whole entire life. And for this beautiful blessing,” she explained.
“Not everyone has an easy path to having kids, some people never have that dream come true. What’s wrong with me? Why am I having such a hard time?”
She explained that part of her difficulty was in breastfeeding her daughter, which caused sleep deprivation as she searched for ways to teach herself and her daughter how to do it.
“It just was like major survival mode. That’s all it was, me just trying to survive. And I felt like sometimes I wouldn’t be able to survive," Poureetezadi Goytowski recalled.
“I’m so thankful my mom was able to be here for a long period of time. I think that helped us so much and then when she had to leave, that was just really hard. And I just felt so bad, like that Galileo deserved so much better than what I was giving her. I could barely get up out of bed in the morning.”
Eventually, Poureetezadi Goytowski talked with her doctor and decided to get on medication.
“She was just like, ‘This happens to some people and we need to get you on some medication.’ And I got the medication prescribed and then I came home and didn’t fill it for a couple weeks,” she remembered.
“And I wish I had filled it earlier, because it would’ve helped me be better earlier. And medication’s not always the answer and medication doesn’t always work, but for me it did and I needed that to rebalance myself.”
“It’s almost hard for me sometimes to look back and relate to that person that I was during those first couple months of Galileo’s life. It feels like it was a dream that I’m looking back on,” Poureetezadi Goytowski said. “It got really dark.”
“I remember just trying to look at Galileo and be like, ‘My daughter needs me,'” she said. “And she saved me. She really did. I am still here because of her.”
source: people.com