Man Says He Upset French Woman with a Joke About French Phrases — Including a ‘Famous Line’ from ‘Lady Marmalade’

Mar. 15, 2025

Woman and man arguing at a bar (stock image).Photo:Getty

Stock image of woman and man arguing at a bar

Getty

A man says hemade a jokewhile out with friends that “upset” a woman who was joining them — but he claims he doesn’t feel like he did anything wrong.

The man detailed the situation on the Reddit forum“Am I the A——?”, explaining that he recently met up with several friends and that “one of them brought along someone new […] — a woman who came from France.”

The Redditor says that he and the woman talked for “a while” about “her country and her language” and that he decided to make a joke involving the song“Lady Marmalade”which ultimately “fell flat.”

“I told her ‘It sucks that Americans don’t really know any French beyond basic words and phrases like ‘bonjour,’ ‘merci,’ ‘voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?’ "

“For those who don’t know, that last sentence means ‘Do you want to sleep with me tonight?‘ " he wrote, adding, “It was a famous line from a song that I thought Americans were pretty familiar with.”

Man and woman talking at a bar (stock image).Getty

Man and woman talking at a bar (stock image)

However, the man says that it turned out the woman was not familiar with the song and “she got really upset after.”

“She told everyone else what that sentence meant and they said I was an a——,” he continued, adding, “I repeatedly told her I wasn’t asking her to sleep with me, that it was just a joke about a song, but she wasn’t hearing any of it and it kind ofruined the nightfor everybody.”

The man says that his friends have since told him that he should apologize, but he says “I don’t feel like I did anything wrong besides make a joke that fell flat.”

“AITA [am I the a——]?” he asked his fellow Reddit users.

Woman sitting at a bar (stock image).Getty

Stock image of woman at a bar with a drink

The post sparked much debate among Reddit users, and opinions were divided over whether or not the OP owed the woman an apology.

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Another person disagreed entirely, writing: “If you make a joke that has sex in it, it doesn’t land, and makes the recipient uncomfortable, you’d be extremely rude not to offer an apology.”

Someone else noted that the OP should have known better, especially because he was makinga sexual referenceto a woman he had never even met before.

“YTA [you’re the a——] for not apologizing. You didn’t mean to make her uncomfortable, but you did. Many women hear a ton of sexual ‘jokes,’ and are sick of it. Don’t say sexual stuff to strangers. Just because it’s a reference doesn’t really make it any better.”

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He wrote: “I’ve done a little thinking, and I’ve decided that despite my intentions, maybe I should have been more considerate of her feelings.”

“Even if my joke wasn’t directed at her, I probably should have considered that a joke like that wouldn’t have landed the way I wanted, whether it was due to cultural differences or just misunderstanding. And maybe I shouldn’t have been so defensive afterward,” he added.

“If she doesn’t accept my apology, that’s fine, I’ll move on with my life, but she deserves one anyway,” he concluded.

source: people.com