Mother of Son Who Died at 24 Says She's Finishing His Bucket List in His Memory: 'I Want Him to Be Proud of Me'

Mar. 15, 2025

Alexandra Spencer with her son Declan Spencer.Photo:GoFundMe

GoFundMe

A British mother whose son died following a debilitating muscle condition is completing his bucket list in his honor.

Alex Spencer from the small village of Syston in Leicestershire was the main carer for her 24-year-old son Declan Spencer, who had Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (MD), in the months leading up to his death on Aug. 26, 2023, reported theBBC.

Before passing away, Declan created a bucket list with many items he wasn’t able to check off — with his top wish being to have the “most well-known adapted van in the U.K.,” according to the BBC.

“I want Dec to be proud of me,” she told the BBC.

Alexandra Spencer with her son Declan Spencer.Alamy

Alamy

The grieving mother shared that taking on her son’s bucket list has also given her purpose since his death. “I think society has a misconception that a carer gets their life back [when a loved one dies]. There’s not been a day since I’ve lost Dec that I’ve not cried,” she told BBC.

Muscular dystrophy refers to a group of progressive, inherited genetic conditions that cause the muscles to weaken, affecting heart and breathing functions, which leads to an increasing level of disability, according to theCleveland Clinic.

Declan was fully dependent on a wheelchair to move from the age of 13 and he was put on a ventilator to breathe in his final years, per hisGoFundMe page.

He was expected to receive full-time care through a U.K. government health scheme, however, his family claimed he did not get sufficient support in his last few months when he most needed it, per the BBC.

As a result, Alex took on the daunting and emotional task of being his full-time carer.

“I’m not medically trained, [but] I was doing stuff nurses should be doing,” she told the BBC. She added that Declan “only got to see the palliative care team the day before he died.”

Declan’s local care team, the NHS Leicester, Leicestershire and Rutland Integrated Care Board (ICB) told the BBC in response that “all the organizations involved in Declan’s care were working with the family to provide the best possible care”.

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She aims to show others “to not let disability keep you from what your goals are,” reported the BBC.

source: people.com