Princess Diana and Prince Charles dance together while on tour in Australia in 1985.Photo:Trinity Mirror / Mirrorpix / Alamy Stock Photo
Trinity Mirror / Mirrorpix / Alamy Stock Photo
Just weeks afterPrincess Diana’s royal wedding toPrince Charlesin 1981, Anne Allan, a dancer and ballet mistress with the London City Ballet, received an extraordinary request: The Princess of Wales wanted dance lessons.
Soon she and Diana were meeting in a private studio in London for what would become hundreds of secret one-hour sessions. Over the next nine years, Allan and Diana developed a deep friendship. The princess, just 20 years old and newly wed, found in Allan a confidante with whom she could candidly discuss her personal struggles and the complexities of royal life—including her pregnancies, herbattle with bulimiaand theincreasing unhappiness in her marriageto Charles.
Allan, who has rarely spoken publicly about her time with the princess, decided to write her new bookDancing With Diana: A Memoir(out Sept. 10) to reveal “the other side of her, the dancing side of her, the beauty within her,” she tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue.
In the exclusive excerpt below, Allan reflects on the most candid—and sometimes harrowing—moments she shared with her royal pupil.
Princess Diana and Prince Charles dance together during their tour of Australia in 1985; Anne Allan in 2024.Anwar Hussein/Getty; David Leyes
Anwar Hussein/Getty; David Leyes
Diana had graduated from traditional black leotard, pink tights, and leather ballet shoes to more comfortable unitards in different colours or matching tights and leotards with white jazz shoes, which were more suitable to the movements we did. They made how she moved so much easier. She had given me a pale-yellow dance outfit as a thank-you present after I had suggested she wear a G-string as underwear. “It works so much better,” she said, laughing loudly. Looking back at the style for dance in the 1980s is very funny. We looked ridiculous, but we didn’t go as far as Jane Fonda with her matching headbands.
Anne Allan and her daughter Emily on the steps of their Highgate flat as Anne is leaving for the Garden Party at Buckingham Palace, Tuesday July 10th, 1984. She is holding the invitation in her hand.courtesy Anne Allan
courtesy Anne Allan
I couldn’t wait to see Diana, and she threw her arms around me and embraced me warmly at our first class back. She looked to be in marvelous shape, although a little thinner, but that can be natural after giving birth, so I didn’t think too much about it. . . . She said William was wonderful with his little brother and she loved watching them together. “Everyone seems very happy that we now have the heir and the spare! Harry’s red hair was a lovely surprise as I know he’s a Spencer as well as a Windsor,” she said laughing. “My daddy is thrilled, but I’m not too sure what Charles thinks about that.”
Diana sat on the floor with tears in her eyes, and an outpouring of emotion followed. . . .I could feel the hurt, a helplessness within her. She was very accepting of my comfort, in between saying, “You must think me awful.” I didn’t. . . . Slowly, after a few more minutes of gentle sobbing, she said, “I just can’t seem to do anything right when it comes to my husband. I do love him so much and want him to be proud of me, but I don’t think he feels the same way.” I just let her talk, not offering advice, but just listening. She continued, “I don’t understand why I am not enough for him; I think he prefers an older woman.”
Princess Diana and Prince Charles in Melbourne, Australia, in 1985.Anwar Hussein/WireImage
Anwar Hussein/WireImage
Her head dropped and, unable to look me in the eye, she said, “I am so ashamed, Anne, but I need to tell you that I suffer from bulimia.” Her shame was evidently painful for her. “I’m so sorry I haven’t been able to admit it to you, until now.” . . . Diana explained that her bulimia had started when she had started attending important functions, particularly dinners where she had to sit down to eat. . . . Meeting so many people was terrifying to her and the feeling that she was being judged with every move she made or how she looked or what she said caused her to feel totally inadequate. Although she had gained more confidence over the years, there were still times where she resorted to the cycle of bulimia. . . . Understanding the disease was the way forward, I told her, adding that finding ways not to judge herself would come in time.”
From the minute the class started, I could tell Diana was distracted and troubled. She tried very hard to work through her feelings, but I could see from her body language and her fatigue after a short routine that this was not something she could throw off. She was dealing with feelings and emotions very deep inside her, and I knew she wanted to express them, but it was very difficult—she felt so vulnerable. In pure despair, she dropped to the floor, sobbing. I was distressed for her. I could feel the pain and turmoil she was in. I let her just cry.
After a few minutes, apologizing profusely for dumping on me when I had enough on my mind, she started to talk through the tears. “I just don’t know what to do, Anne. I find myself in an unbearable situation. I haven’t seen Charles for weeks and he doesn’t want to talk to me. I thought he would come back to me, and we could work things out. How do I go on when I’m not wanted?” Her hurt was deep, and she could not see a way through it. My heart was broken for her.
I can still vividly remember the deep anxiety and dread she felt, the emotional conflict within her, and her fear for the future. It was a complex situation and she was searching for honest answers and solutions. The question of separation had been brought up, but I didn’t believe that separation was an option, and told her. The palace would never agree, and I honestly didn’t think that was what she wanted. Diana wanted Charles to be with her and to love her. Even though she was in her own romantic affair, at this point, Charles was still the man she desired and that was why it was so agonizing for her. “Keeping my family together is the most important thing to me,” she said, still crying.
Princess Diana dances with John Travolta at a White House dinner in 1985.corbis/Getty Images
I prayed that Diana was going to pull through, but I felt such heaviness in my heart. I knew I might be fooling myself. I sat up with [my daughter] Emily until news of her death was announced. Her life ended on August 31, 1997. Like the rest of the world, I was in total shock. My first cohesive thoughts were of William and Harry. How do you tell two young people that they are never going to see their mother again? I sobbed for them. I also wept for Charles, who would suffer deeply, regardless of the divorce. The circumstances of the death were horrendous. . . .On the day of her funeral, I joined millions of other people from around the world in watching the service and procession on television.
Afterwards, I held my own private vigil at home, surrounding myself with candles, flowers, and Diana’s dance photos and letters. All I could do was remember and cherish the time we had together. It helped to fill the emptiness I was feeling. I would need a fair bit of time over the next few months to come to terms with her death.
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source: people.com