Tori Spelling Says She Was OK with Ex Dean McDermott Moving on Because She 'Mourned' Their Marriage Before Its Official End

Mar. 15, 2025

From left: Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott.Photo:Rodin Eckenroth/FilmMagic; Andrew J Cunningham/Getty Images

Tori Spelling attends the Los Angeles premiere of Freeform’s “Cruel Summer” season 2; Dean Mcdermott attend Luskin Orthopedic Institute For Children Gala

Rodin Eckenroth/FilmMagic; Andrew J Cunningham/Getty Images

Tori Spellingis looking back on the end of her marriage.

“There is that one final blowout fight, but it actually didn’t come from me, it came from him,” she told guestDenise Richards. “He initiated the blowout fight, and, you know, I’m a lover, not a fighter. So it’s hard for me.”

From left: Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott attend Fox Winter TCA on February 6, 2019 in Los Angeles, California.Amy Sussman/Getty

Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott attend Fox Winter TCA on February 06, 2019 in Los Angeles, California.

Amy Sussman/Getty

When Richards asked about how Spelling felt seeing photos of McDermott with another woman, theBeverly Hills, 90210alum admitted it doesn’t bother her.

“I grieved and mourned the relationship during it. So when that part happened, that part was okay,” she explained of McDermott beingphotographed with girlfriend Lily Calo in October 2023. “It was more my focus was just on the kids and taking care of them, and that was hard for them. But his girlfriend, when I first saw a picture of them together, it’s funny because my brain wanted to be like, ‘Oh, my gosh.’ You know, jealous.”

“My new thing is gut check, instinct,” she continued. “And I checked inside, and I was like, nope. I feel nothing. She’s really pretty. And it has been that consistently.”

Spelling also sharedCalohas spend time with her family, she saying, “She was understandably a little nervous, I’m sure, to come into our house.”

“She’s amazing, and I’m grateful because you never know who your ex is gonna be with, and they’re around your kids," she added.

Dean McDermott arrives at the FOX Summer TCA 2019 All-Star Party; Lily Calo DAN THE MAN : THE ARTIST; Tori Spelling arrives at the KIIS FM’s iHeartRadio Jingle Ball 2023.Gregg DeGuire/FilmMagic; Eric LaCour/BFA.com; Steve Granitz/FilmMagic

Dean McDermott arrives at the FOX Summer TCA 2019 All-Star Party; Lily Calo DAN THE MAN : THE ARTIST; Tori Spelling arrives at the KIIS FM’s iHeartRadio Jingle Ball 2023

Gregg DeGuire/FilmMagic; Eric LaCour/BFA.com; Steve Granitz/FilmMagic

As for thebreakup postMcDermott, with whom she shares five children, posted back in June 2023, Spelling clarified that there are no hard feelings between the two.

“He took it down and apologized in the moment,” she said. “He was reacting emotionally, and he was still drinking and, you know, he was in that spiral. But I gotta say, when I saw that post — inside, I was like, ‘Oh, thank God.’ Because I don’t know if I could have done it. I wanted to do it. I wanted to be strong enough. I wanted to be that example.”

She added: “It had come to the point that the kids are no longer seeing a strong woman in the house, but I had gotten so deep into it that I would question it.”

Understanding that the former couple are now in a better place with one another, Spelling said herfocus is co-parenting.

“We want it to go smoothly,” she noted. “I filed but we still have to work things out.”

(L-R) Stella Spelling, Tori Spelling, Beau Spelling, Dean McDermott, Finn Spelling, and Hattie Spelling attend the Luskin Orthopaedic Institute for Children, Stand for Kids Gala at Universal Studios Hollywood on June 10, 2023 in Universal City, California.Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images

Stella Spelling, Tori Spelling, Beau Spelling, Dean McDermott, Finn Spelling, and Hattie Spelling attend the Luskin Orthopaedic Institute for Children, Stand for Kids Gala

Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images

Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Spellingfiled for divorcefrom McDermott on March 29 after 28 years of marriage, citing irreconcilable differences as the reason for their split. Their official date of separation was listed as June 17, 2023, the same day that McDermott posted his announcement.

source: people.com