Woman 'Mad' at Fiancé for Letting His Brother Have 'Dibs' on Her Dream Wedding Venue

Mar. 15, 2025

A stock image of a couple arguing.Photo:Dimitri Otis/Getty

Dimitri Otis/Getty

A woman on Reddit is furious with her fiancé for allowing her soon-to-be brother-in-law to call “dibs” on a wedding venue she “fell in love” with when he wasn’t even engaged to his girlfriend at the timeEven though the woman’s “heart was set on” the venue, she claims her fiancé refuses to believe his brother “took it” from her and won’t “defend” her or attempt to understand her side"I’m mad that my fiancé doesn’t defend me and called me crazy, or see my side of the story, and to me, it seems like he chose his brother’s happiness over mine," she sharedA woman onRedditis furious with her fiancé for choosing his brother’s happiness over hers.In a post on the platform’s “Am I the A——?” forum, the user shared that she’s contemplating if she’s in the wrong for “making a big deal” out of wanting to get married at a venue that her soon-to-be brother-in-law has “dibs” on.The poster, who had been engaged for 11 months, explained that she “fell in love” with a wedding venue while on a family trip."[I] said to my fiancé out loud that we should look at it," she wrote. “The brother-in-law heard me say this, then pulled my fiancé aside and said that his girlfriend wanted to get married there and if we could get married there after them.“A stock image of a couple looking away from each other.GettyThe bride-to-be didn’t learn about this conversation from her fiancé until several weeks later when she was emailing the venue. After explaining his brother’s request, he told her she could proceed if she “really wanted to,” but said it in a manner that suggested “it really wasn’t an option.“The poster also noted that at the time of the trip, her fiancé’s brother wasn’t yet engaged to his girlfriend, who has supposedly wanted to get married at the venue in question since she was 12 years old.“I think of my life with my fiancé as separate from his family. We are our own unit with little overlap of friends,” the woman wrote. “In addition, after that comment, it wasn’t really if I could use the venue or not, it’s that I could have it after them. So I then had to wait for their wedding and another year in between at least because the family lives abroad and can’t make big trips like this twice a year because of time and money.“Upset bride and groom (stock image).Getty Images/Design Pics RFEven though the woman’s “heart was set on” the venue, her fiancé thinks she’s “crazy” to believe his brother “took it” from her. That’s the bigger issue for the poster — that her fiancé refuses to “defend” her or even attempt to understand her side.Instead of explaining to his brother why his fiancée might be upset about the situation, he essentially told him, “I don’t agree with my fiancée and she’s crazy to be mad that I promised you that you could get married there first.“The bottom line for the woman is: “Now I’m mad that my fiancé doesn’t defend me and called me crazy, or see my side of the story, and to me, it seems like he chose his brother’s happiness over mine. Then my fiancé is mad at me for making a big deal out of this when he said it was their venue first.“Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.Most Reddit users said that the poster was in the right, but also commented that her soon-to-be-husband might be using the situation as a way to call off the wedding.“Honestly, bf doesn’t want to marry you and is trying to find a way out,” someone commented in part. “I wouldn’t waste my time waiting around for two to four years or more for an engagement and wedding that might not even happen. You don’t put your life on hold for someone else who isn’t even engaged yet.““He handed over your dream venue to his brother because his girlfriend might want it someday? Sounds like your fiancé’s planning a wedding for everyone but you,” one Redditor wrote, with another adding, “I wouldn’t even waste the time planning a wedding with this guy. Sounds like he doesn’t want to get married and is blaming his brother.”

A woman onRedditis furious with her fiancé for choosing his brother’s happiness over hers.

In a post on the platform’s “Am I the A——?” forum, the user shared that she’s contemplating if she’s in the wrong for “making a big deal” out of wanting to get married at a venue that her soon-to-be brother-in-law has “dibs” on.

The poster, who had been engaged for 11 months, explained that she “fell in love” with a wedding venue while on a family trip.

“[I] said to my fiancé out loud that we should look at it,” she wrote. “The brother-in-law heard me say this, then pulled my fiancé aside and said that his girlfriend wanted to get married there and if we could get married there after them.”

A stock image of a couple looking away from each other.Getty

Getty

The bride-to-be didn’t learn about this conversation from her fiancé until several weeks later when she was emailing the venue. After explaining his brother’s request, he told her she could proceed if she “really wanted to,” but said it in a manner that suggested “it really wasn’t an option.”

The poster also noted that at the time of the trip, her fiancé’s brother wasn’t yet engaged to his girlfriend, who has supposedly wanted to get married at the venue in question since she was 12 years old.

“I think of my life with my fiancé as separate from his family. We are our own unit with little overlap of friends,” the woman wrote. “In addition, after that comment, it wasn’t really if I could use the venue or not, it’s that I could have it after them. So I then had to wait for their wedding and another year in between at least because the family lives abroad and can’t make big trips like this twice a year because of time and money.”

Upset bride and groom (stock image).Getty Images/Design Pics RF

Getty Images/Design Pics RF

Even though the woman’s “heart was set on” the venue, her fiancé thinks she’s “crazy” to believe his brother “took it” from her. That’s the bigger issue for the poster — that her fiancé refuses to “defend” her or even attempt to understand her side.

Instead of explaining to his brother why his fiancée might be upset about the situation, he essentially told him, “I don’t agree with my fiancée and she’s crazy to be mad that I promised you that you could get married there first.”

The bottom line for the woman is: “Now I’m mad that my fiancé doesn’t defend me and called me crazy, or see my side of the story, and to me, it seems like he chose his brother’s happiness over mine. Then my fiancé is mad at me for making a big deal out of this when he said it was their venue first.”

Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Most Reddit users said that the poster was in the right, but also commented that her soon-to-be-husband might be using the situation as a way to call off the wedding.

“Honestly, bf doesn’t want to marry you and is trying to find a way out,” someone commented in part. “I wouldn’t waste my time waiting around for two to four years or more for an engagement and wedding that might not even happen. You don’t put your life on hold for someone else who isn’t even engaged yet.”

“He handed over your dream venue to his brother because his girlfriend might want it someday? Sounds like your fiancé’s planning a wedding for everyone but you,” one Redditor wrote, with another adding, “I wouldn’t even waste the time planning a wedding with this guy. Sounds like he doesn’t want to get married and is blaming his brother.”

source: people.com